When my children were young, I homeschooled them for five years. During that time, we were part of a large group of homeschooling families in my parish who received spiritual counsel and pastoral support from Fr. Joseph Sheehan of blessed memory. When I met Fr. Sheehan he was about eighty years old, a “retired” priest who served our parish as a part-time associate assigned to say mass on weekends and visit the elderly once a week. That certainly is enough to ask of an octogenarian priest, but Fr. Sheehan’s view of “retirement” was vastly different. He visited the elderly and the sick often; he mentored the homeschool families; he offered Mass and heard confessions nearly daily (this was a rare parish that had confessions at 7 p.m. seven days a week, and there always was a long queue). Why did he work so hard when he deserved to rest in the winter of his life? His motto was: “I want to die on my feet.”

In the mid-1990s, the first of the many apocalyptic books in the Left Behind series was published. From the perspective of Catholic theology, they are significantly problematic, but they were hugely popular among Christian readers. Over the next several years, more books in the series appeared, and the interest in the End Times waxed. Combine that with the apocalyptic themes present in Advent, and Fr. Sheehan was bombarded with parishioners seeking counsel on how to prepare for the end of the world and, moreover, worried about the signs of the Apocalypse they saw in what Pope St. John Paul II termed the “culture of death” that characterizes the modern world. And then the new millennium was fast approaching. It was December 1999, and even the sanest people were worried about possible apocalyptic devastation caused by Y2K at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve when worldwide computer systems threatened to shut down. No doubt some people still haven’t used up their fifteen year stockpile of water bottles and batteries!

Fr. Sheehan mounted the pulpit as Y2K loomed ominously before us and boomed: “It is clear: We have reached the End Times. Like a thief in the night, the world may come to an end – any day, any hour, any minute.” The people in the pews gasped and winced, bracing themselves to meet the End. Then he said, “YOUR END.” Indeed, the end is near for every person, some sooner than later, but for all, soon. Every single life is just a dot on the timeline of the world. “Worry about your own end,” he said. If each one of us lived as though today were our last, no one would worry over the End Times; in fact, the world would resemble less and less a culture stinking of death and destruction. Be penitential and joyful (for Catholics, not a contradiction in terms) by living a life of constant sacrificial love. In other words, we are to “die on our feet” for the Lord.

The 1986 documentary Mother Teresa, portrays her in the winter of her life. One of the sisters relates that a doctor told her Mother Teresa had a very bad heart and that she should rest. Mother would hear none of that and said she wanted to “die on her feet.” And, the sister said, “That is just what she is doing,” giving every last drop for Jesus. She lived a life, not worried about The End, but Her End, being so spent of her own self, that when she took her last breath, Jesus could enter fully. Paradoxically, worrying about her end was to forget about herself. Dying on one’s feet is a metaphor for going outside of oneself, moving towards another for God’s sake. We “save” ourselves by saving others through sacrificial love.

My mother Mimi lives with my family. She is an Advent baby, born in mid-December. This Advent, she will celebrate her ninetieth birthday. As I write this, she is dying on her feet. She is blessed today with being able to cook, drive, read, remember, and well, pretty much take care of my husband, me, and my four mostly grown children. She also helps her friends still living who are not as fortunate as she in health of mind and body (they are dying on their feet in a different but no less meaningful way in their humble need of others to care for them). While being ninety may concentrate the mind on “the end,” you’d never know it from my mother, from Fr. Sheehan, from Mother Teresa. My Advent prayer for you is that you may die on your feet at the end of [your] world.

Happy 90^th Birthday, Mom!

Patricia Sodano Ireland is Dean of Undergraduate Studies and Program Director of OnlineTheology Programs at Saint Joseph’s College of Maine.