Category Archives: Pastoral Theology

I am not able to be selfish anymore

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“For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it…” (Ephesians 5:29)

I was recently in a conversation with someone who is a new father. He was commenting to me about the challenges of being a parent. Then in bold honesty he said: “I’m not able to be selfish anymore…” as if he was lamenting the lost opportunity to focus almost exclusively on himself (he is married, hence the “almost”). I have to admit the honesty was refreshing in a way. It also contributed a point to an ongoing reflection I have been having on the Sacrament of Matrimony and its relationship with the Eucharist (cf. Sacramentum Caritatis 27).

The following might seem out of left field, but bear with me. Blessed Pope Paul VI’s Paul VIreasserted in his encyclical Humanae Vitae that there is an “inseparable connection, established by God” between the unitive significance and procreative significance “which are both inherent to the marriage act” (Humanae Vitae 12, emphasis added; cf. Gaudium et Spes 51). In other words each act of sexual intercourse is unitive for the spouses and must be open to life. However, couples who exhibit a “contraceptive mentality” (cf. Evangelium Vitae 13) seek to avoid new life in some cases because it is truthfully difficult to raise children. Especially for the mother who has to give of her body so that another human being can grow inside her. It is evident that sacrifice is required. In theory parents are not able to be selfish anymore.

I find it amazing to reflect on the Scripture passage which says that women will be saved through childbearing, “provided [they] persevere in faith and love and holiness, with self-control” (1 Timothy 2:15). I don’t think St. Paul was attempting to say that all women are saved only through childbearing, especially since he encourages virginity at another point (1 Corinthians 7:34). However, there is a Eucharistic dimension in the great mystery of the generation of human life that may easily get overlooked.

St. Paul urges the disciples in Rome to offer their bodies as a “spiritual sacrifice” that is pleasing to the Lord (cf. Romans 12:1). Women, and men, can give glory to God with their bodies (cf. 1 Corinthians 6:20). One of the beautiful realities of the Eucharistic sacrifice is that Jesus’ disciples can be united with His one-time sacrifice which is made present at Mass. The Catechism explains this profound mystery in the following:

“In the Eucharist the sacrifice of Christ becomes also the sacrifice of the members of his Body. The lives of the faithful, their praise, sufferings, prayer, and work, are united with those of Christ and with his total offering, and so acquire a new value. Christ’s sacrifice present on the altar makes it possible for all generations of Christians to be united with his offering” (CCC 1368).

The lives of the faithful can be “brought to the altar,” as gifts to the Lord, to be united with the sacrifice of Christ. Spouses can offer the gift of themselves, offering all that they are, including their fertility, in response to God’s plan of salvation and the generation of new life. Each spouse can reflect on the words of our Lord in the institution narrative: “This is my body which will be given up for you, do this in remembrance of me.” These words can simply inspire a spouse to give of himself or herself completely for the life of another in the conjugal act of love. This is particularly the case when a mother conceives in her womb and a new life grows inside her.

There is the inseparable connection between the unitive and procreative significance when spouses unite as one flesh. The unitive significance is aimed at communion and the procreative involves sacrifice which is open to new life. And this brings us to my reflection on the Eucharist. The Eucharist is of course a communion meal in which the members of the Body of Christ are united with Jesus. Concurrently the Eucharist is a sacrifice in which Jesus offers Himself as a gift of self and we have the opportunity to respond with the gift of our self. And the gift of our self can lead to “new life” as we’re transformed to be more like Christ. Also there can be new life in the Spirit for those who encounter Christ through us. In other words when we receive the Eucharist we must respect the unitive (communion) and procreative (sacrifice) significances of this great mystery when our flesh unites with the flesh of our Lord.

Yet, when we go to receive the Eucharist we may approach simply because we want the “communal” or unitive significance. We want to be united with God and with each other and this is praiseworthy. However, there is also the inseparable significance of sacrifice through the gift of ourselves in response to Christ which is open to the Father’s will and new life in the Spirit. We have to be ready to give our lives as a spiritual sacrifice which gives glory to God. Let’s avoid an analogical “contraceptive mentality” when we receive the Eucharist in which we don’t give ourselves completely to Christ. So as we approach Jesus in the Eucharist we should say to ourselves: “I’m not able to be selfish anymore…”

Edward Trendowski teaches marriage and family ministry for Saint Joseph’s College Online.

Culture of Encounter

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Mother Theresa diagnosed the world’s problems in these words:  “We have just forgotten that we belong to one another.”   Perhaps you were like many in the nation who watched or participated in the recent pastoral visit of Pope Francis to the United States of America and witnessed his actions and heard his words that echoed these very same sentiments of St. Mother Theresa of Calcutta.   I was on a plane during his Mass in New York City.  As I strolled up the aisle to the front of the plane, almost every person had their electronic device tuned in and were watching with apt attention Pope Francis deliver his homily!

The antidote Francis offers to a world who has simply forgotten that we belong to one another is to build a culture of encounter and to offer a spirituality of accompaniment.  Recent studies have come out that show the sad reality that our modern lifestyle is making us more lonely! A report by the Mental Health Foundation suggests loneliness among youth and older adults is increasing and is having lasting repercussions on how we relate (or do not relate) with one another.

With each homily, pastoral visit or written document of his papacy, there emerges from Pope Francis reoccurring themes that are at one and the same time both simple and profound, basic yet revolutionary.  Francis’ terminology speak to the heart which longs for happiness, pines for love, and seeks its definitive meaning and purpose in life.   To academia he once stated: “the university (is) a place where the culture of closeness develops…. Isolation and withdrawing into one’s own interests are never the way to Pope Francisrestore hope and bring about a renewal. Rather, it is closeness, it is the culture of encounter.”  Speaking as a “brother among brothers” in Philadelphia, Pope Francis, urged the Bishops:  “As shepherds following in the footsteps of the Good Shepherd, we are asked to seek out, to accompany, to lift up, to bind up the wounds of our time.” To those gathered as members of ecclesial communities, Francis challenged:  “In this ‘stepping out’ it is important to be ready for encounter. For me this word is very important. Encounter with others. Why? Because faith is an encounter with Jesus, and we must do what Jesus does: encounter others….with our faith we must create a culture of encounter, a culture of friendship, a culture in which we find brothers and sisters.”  In a homily on the Year of Mercy this theme with still richer terminology is offered, “the Holy Year must keep alive the desire to know how to welcome the numerous signs of the tenderness which God offers to the whole world and, above all, to those who suffer, who are alone and abandoned, without hope of being pardoned or feeling the Father’s love.”  In fact, Pope Francis calls for a “revolution of tenderness.”  To the Cuban youth he rooted evangelization in this culture of encounter and spirituality of accompaniment with these words: “the path of hope is not an easy one. And it can’t be taken alone. There is an African proverb which says: ‘If you want to go quickly, walk alone, but if you want to go far, walk with another’…. I would like you to walk with others, together, looking for hope, seeking the future…  Please, let us not “dis-encounter” one another. Let us go side by side with one other, as one. Encountering one another….”

Francis is clear as to the antidote for the culture which forgets that we belong to one another and that we are made in the image and likeness of God. Francis’ witness of life sets the example that we must accompany one another in this world no matter rich or poor, sinner or saint.  To accompany another, for Pope Francis is to reveal the mercy of God, to point the way to Jesus, and to serve God and our neighbor.

The work of the evangelization, entrusted to all, is to teach Faith in a way which allows all people to discover one’s unshakeable inner goodness, one’s deep and abiding worthiness, and one’s sheer beauty because we are beloved children of God.

The beautiful Christmas hymn, O Holy Night, says it all:

It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
‘Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

That is at the heart of the Church’s mission to which all the baptized are commissioned and sent forth. We help people encounter Christ and the sacraments of the Church so they can feel their worth.  The poet Galway Kinnel wrote “sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness and when that happens we begin to foster tenderness for our own human predicament. A spacious and undefended heart finds room for who we are and carves a space for everyone else!”    Pope Francis’ message to help everyone experience the tenderness mercies of God and thus to feel the worth of the soul is truly at the heart of his plea to return to the fundamental principles of the Faith and to accompany one another on the journey to the Father’s house.  Perhaps then will this pervasive loneliness be dispelled and fulfillment in Christ be found in the company of one another in his community the Church.

Lisa Gulino teaches pastoral theology for Saint Joseph’s College.