<\/p>\n
For many of us the last year will go down as one of the worst in recent memory. A contentious election cycle (the ripple effects of which are still being felt) left most Americans with a sour stomach. But as tough as all that was, for many the year was particularly upsetting for one reason: 2016 was \u201cThe Year That Killed (almost) Everybody.\u201d Not really, of course. People die every year \u2013 every day, in fact. But last year a lot well-known people died at what seemed like an alarming rate. Thanks\u00a0to social media, the news of every one of those deaths was immediate and ubiquitous. Suddenly our own mortality seemed as close as our Facebook feed. Much was written about the silliness of \u201cmourning\u201d The \u201ccelebrity death\u201d that most impacted me kicked off last year\u2019s mythical \u201ctrend.\u201d On the morning of January 11, I awoke to the news that singer David Bowie had passed away the day before, following a private battle with cancer. The news left me strangely shaken. Bowie had been my companion through years of teen angst, college coming of age, and independence-seeking young adulthood. His music was the soundtrack for a large segment of my life, and even as my tastes evolved and I moved from \u201cfangirl\u201d to appreciating a wider musical landscape, Bowie was always in the background. Wherever I was in my life, in whatever season or circumstance, if a Bowie song turned up on the radio I put on my red shoes and danced the blues<\/a>, without missing a beat. Like an old friend not often heard from, but always kept in one\u2019s heart, David Bowie and his music were just always there<\/em>. Until, he<\/em> wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n On December 10, 2013, my mom, Dolores, passed away in the hospital. She didn\u2019t have what you\u2019d call a \u201cgood death,\u201d in that she was in some distress at the end. Details aren\u2019t necessary, mostly because three years haven\u2019t eased the pain or erased the memory of that evening. I\u2019m not na\u00efve to the fact that suffering is part of life, and too often an aspect of the dying process. Still, watching someone you love suffer is hard, and it\u2019s okay to admit that and to feel it. To dwell on it, though, disturbs one\u2019s mental and spiritual peace, and gets in the way of the good memories and the love we continue to have for those who\u2019ve passed. Bingeing on thoughts about that suffering, having regrets, and second-guessing one\u2019s participation in the dying process (Was I truly present<\/em> at the end? Could I have done something to prevent the suffering \u2013 or even the inevitable?) leads us away from experiencing the death of a loved one – and Christ\u2019s presence<\/em> in this experience \u2013 in a truly Christian way<\/em>.<\/p>\n This post isn\u2019t about a rock star, or \u201cthe year that killed people,\u201d or even my mom. It\u2019s about living a good life that puts death in the proper perspective. It feels strange to say it, but David Bowie\u2019s death exactly two years and one month after my mom\u2019s put me in touch with the reality of the Communion of Saints in ways I never expected. Bowie indulged in all the excesses a rock n\u2019 roll lifestyle affords (quite a different one from my cradle-Catholic mom), until he \u201csettled down\u201d in the last 25-30 years of his life. His music was provocative, sometimes incomprehensible, but always infused with a sense of the Supernatural. Bowie sought God in his music, but I think his search was fraught with obstacles \u2013 many of his own making. How his search ended on that Sunday in January, I don\u2019t know. I pray for him every day, though, as I pray for my mom and so many other souls who have passed. Taken together, I think that reflecting on the \u201cGod-haunted\u201d life of a stranger, and the \u201cGod-seeking\u201d (as imperfect as it often was) of my own mother awakened in me a new urgency to live a Christ-centered life<\/em>, while hoping for a Christ-centered death<\/em> \u2013 for myself and for others.<\/p>\n We shouldn\u2019t dwell on death in a morbid way that consumes us, frightens us, or becomes obsessive. God wants us to live a good life<\/em> (striving toward virtue, avoiding sin, and being in right relationship with Him and our neighbors), while being mindful that this life is not our ultimate<\/em> end. God wants us to live a good life<\/em>, and hope and pray for a good death<\/em>. \u00a0That seems like a contradiction, but it recognizes that this life is a journey, not a destination. Our lives should reflect our hope for an experience of death that leads us to the joy of Heaven. A good death<\/em> isn\u2019t simply (or exclusively) one free of pain – though that\u2019s a worthy prayer! A good death<\/em> (for the Catholic\/Orthodox Christian) affords us the Sacrament of the Sick, receiving the grace and comfort needed for passage into new life. A good death<\/em> offers the opportunity to \u201cmake our peace\u201d with loved ones, say our goodbyes, and allow family and friends to be with us. A good death<\/em> is one in which we are mindful of the nearness of the Lord, so that when He calls to us, we will have the grace to respond, \u201cYes, Lord!\u201d.<\/a> We should hope and pray that we, and those we love, experience peace and comfort, lack fear, and gratefully anticipate the warm embrace of our Father when it is time for us to go.<\/p>\n Having a good death<\/em> isn\u2019t just about the dying process and the moment of death. As believers in the Communion of Saints, we know that the souls of those who\u2019ve died continue to need our help as they are purified by God<\/a>. Through prayer, sacrifice, and celebration of the Liturgy we commend to God\u2019s mercy the souls of all<\/em> those who have died, both the saintly and the committed sinner. The death of David Bowie convicted me of the necessity to pray especially for those who didn\u2019t know God, lost faith in Him, doubted or even rejected Him. As I said earlier, I don\u2019t know the state of Bowie\u2019s soul at the end. But I pray with confidence that the God who isn\u2019t limited by time hears my plea for a flood of Divine Mercy to be poured into the souls of all His departed (even if doubting) children, that they would recognize the Lord\u2019s voice and embrace His mercy. This is what God asks of me and of you: to pray, trust in His mercy and have hope.<\/p>\n Praying for the souls of those who have died is good (and necessary) for them \u2013 but it\u2019s also good for us<\/em>. It reminds us that they\u2019re gone from our sight, but not gone<\/em> forever<\/em>. Prayer keeps them close to us, in our minds, in our hearts, and on our lips as we speak their names to the Father of Mercy. Praying for the dead helps us maintain a healthy outlook on death as that mysterious, scary, but inevitable doorway to Life. The Communion of Saints \u2013 those of us praying through our pilgrimage here on earth, and the saints already in Heaven \u2013 are the family of God<\/em>, and our prayers are joined together in praise and petition. Thus, praying for the dead draws us more closely together as a<\/em> family<\/em>.<\/p>\n Death shouldn\u2019t be a morbid obsession, but a reminder that this life is a pilgrimage, and death the last signpost before reaching our destination. Instead paralyzing us with fear, death should shape how we live our lives. Mortality needn\u2019t be a cloud over our heads, but should move us toward a deeper our relationship with God. Our lives should be an invitation for others to experience the joy of loving and being loved by Him. Therefore, as urgent as it is for us to pray for those who have died, we must also pray for the living<\/em> who don\u2019t know God, who doubt Him, or who are so wounded and hurt (for whatever reason) that they turn away from Him. When the opportunity presents itself \u2013 and the Spirit moves us \u2013 we may share our experience of God\u2019s love with them. But when it\u2019s not possible \u2013 or prudent \u2013 to explicitly share the Gospel, we should fervently pray that God will soften hearts, heal wounds, open minds, and rain down His mercy on them, and all of us.<\/p>\n A rock star, a mom, a torrent of celebrity deaths, a year that seemed to have been orchestrated by the Grim Reaper himself, and the mercy of God at the end of this life. I\u2019ll admit this is an odd mix of thoughts for considering living a good life<\/em>, and having a good death<\/em>. But God meets each one of us where we are, in our pain and in our joy; in fond memories of a loving mother\u2026and in our Spotify playlists. God speaks to us of His abundant mercy and love in the suffering of our dear ones, and in the song that cries out for a sign that He is real<\/a>. I pray every day for the soul of my mother, because I love her still and I want her to rest close to the heart of the Lord she remained faithful to until the end. I pray, too, for the rock icon who touched me so deeply with his art, and stirred in my heart the hope that he – and many others among my own family and friends who\u2019s hearts somehow grew cold with doubt – experienced a flood of warm and healing Mercy. I pray that I\u2019ll live my life a little bit better every day \u2013 more Christ-centered, more loving and merciful. I pray that each day I\u2019ll be more mindful that while death is no picnic, it is the means by which Christ to leads us to the Feast of the Lamb<\/a>. Let\u2019s pray for the souls who have gone before us, for ourselves, and for each other. And let\u2019s do our best to live a good life<\/em>, and ask God for the gift of a good and holy death<\/em>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n O Lord, I am the image of Your glory * which is beyond description, * even though I bear the marks of transgressions. * Have mercy on Your creature. * O Master, in Your compassion cleanse me. * Grant me the home I yearn for, * and again make me an inhabitant of paradise. <\/em><\/p>\n ~From \u201cGreat Panachida, Office of Christian Burial (according to the Byzantine Rite) in the Church.\u201d Prayer of the Deceased<\/em>.<\/p>\n Ann Koshute<\/strong> teaches theology for Saint Joseph’s College Online Theology Programs<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In the final post in our series on the Mystery of Death, we reflect on how our earthly pilgrimage prepares us for death.\u00a0 For many of us the last year will go down as one of the worst … Continue reading ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/10\/2017\/03\/Wonka.png\")
<\/a> celebrities, ridiculing the idea that 2016 was somehow \u201ccursed,\u201d and \u201cstealing\u201d celebrities away from us. In hindsight, I think the whole conversation missed the point. Death is a reality none can escape, and in a world where news is shared in seconds, it\u2019s not a matter of suddenly soaring numbers, but of our increased awareness that this life doesn\u2019t last forever.<\/p>\n