{"id":1357,"date":"2016-08-14T05:00:48","date_gmt":"2016-08-14T09:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sjcmetheology.wpengine.com\/?p=1357"},"modified":"2016-08-14T05:00:48","modified_gmt":"2016-08-14T09:00:48","slug":"i-am-thomas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/i-am-thomas\/","title":{"rendered":"I Am Thomas"},"content":{"rendered":"

Christianity is a dynamic<\/em> religion. That doesn\u2019t mean being a Christian requires acrobatic ability, rhetorical skills or flashy spiritual encounters. Christian dynamism<\/em> comes from a willingness to actively<\/em> seek<\/em> and live<\/em> a personal relationship with God<\/em>, and with the Communion of Saints. It is a willingness to engage one\u2019s Catholic imagination<\/em>, whether from the pew, in one\u2019s daily activities \u2013 or even from the comfort of the sofa. Faith, worship and Christian witness are serious business; but without some creativity our religious practice can become less than perfect, and more pedestrian than personal. I\u2019m a visual person, prone to boredom and easily distracted. As a result, my prayer and contemplation of Scripture is usually pretty colorful. When I read a Bible passage or hear the Sunday Gospel I try to put myself there. I try to see people, hear sounds, and relate my own experience those of people in the Bible. Scripture isn\u2019t written on dead trees, but in the active witness of those who encountered the living God<\/em> and were transformed by Him. It is God\u2019s Word made flesh and brought to full flower in the incarnation of His Son. That written Word is to be continuously \u201cfleshed out\u201d by you and me as we \u201cpractice\u201d the Faith by following<\/em> Him<\/em>.<\/p>\n

This month\u2019s important feast of Mary prompted me to think a lot about St. Thomas, and how much the Apostle needed her \u2013 and her Son. The more I thought about it, the more I realized: I\u2019m Thomas, too<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait – what? August, Mary\u2026we\u2019re talking about the Feast of the Assumption, aren\u2019t we? Where\u2019d you get this Thomas stuff<\/em>?\u201d If I might beg your indulgence, read on and engage your<\/em> Catholic imagination<\/em>\u2026.<\/p>\n

\"St.<\/a>Thomas was one of the original Twelve chosen by Jesus for what amounted to an apprenticeship leading them to preach the Gospel (Mk 13:10<\/a>) and found Christian communities throughout the known world. Of course that Apostolic mission didn\u2019t end in the First Century, but continues through the Church today. It was an important mission Jesus entrusted to those men, and He chose them specifically because of their unwavering faith, courage, grace-under-pressure and great wisdom. Or\u2026not. The truth is the Apostles were a lot like us, and even after their infusion with the gifts of the Holy Spirit they retained many of their foibles and faults \u2013 even clashing with each other (see Paul throw down in Gal 2:11<\/a>). Regardless of their personal weaknesses the Apostles went all in<\/em> for Christ, and in many cases shed their blood on His account. Their devotion to Him wasn\u2019t always pretty, but they never stopped letting Him mold and shape them, and by yielding to the movement of the Holy Spirit they continued learning from Him.<\/p>\n

Thomas is the kind of Apostle I think I\u2019d have been: enthusiastic and impetuous enough to blurt out a willingness to die with Christ<\/a>, without fully comprehending the seriousness of such a declaration.\u00a0 Thomas was fearful, questioning, and a little clueless. Having lived and spoken directly with Jesus, witnessing many signs and wonders, Thomas still asked, \u201cMaster, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?\u201d<\/a> In the midst of big events he was often just a little too late<\/a>, missing out on their significance . Thomas was skeptical, even a bit cocky, when his fellow Apostles testified to the risen Christ. He heard what they said<\/em> they saw, but unless he<\/em> saw Jesus for himself he was unmoved. He even declared the notion of the resurrection so far-fetched that he\u2019d only be convinced of it sticking by his hand in the Master\u2019s wounds. Yes, indeed, there\u2019s a lot of Thomas in me. I often dive head first into my devotion to the Lord, making promises I know I can\u2019t keep, taking on more than I can handle, and losing motivation when it\u2019s clear I can\u2019t live up to my own unrealistic standards (Can you say, \u201c54-Day Novena<\/a>?\u201d) How many times have I expressed my frustration at Catholic\/Christian politicians who don\u2019t let Faith inform their public lives \u2013 only to look around me at a restaurant as I sheepishly make the sign of the Cross, hoping not to make a too-public declaration of thanks to God? I recall with shame the many challenges I\u2019ve issued to Jesus when I am wounded, restless, scared and frustrated. \u201cUnless I see proof that Your wounds were really endured for me<\/em>,\u201d I cry, \u201cI won\u2019t believe You hear my prayers. I won\u2019t believe You\u2019re for me. I can\u2019t believe You\u2019d let me<\/em> down\u2026.\u201d I am Thomas, a real \u201cTwin,\u201d who moves from faithful follower to doubting daughter on a dime.<\/p>\n

So far this isn\u2019t a very pretty picture of the Apostle \u2013 or me. Except that Jesus was always with Thomas \u2013 with you and me \u2013 in spite of imprudent speech, doubts, and the despair that comes when we think He\u2019s gone for good. When Thomas doesn\u2019t know where he\u2019s going Jesus simply says, \u201cFollow me.\u201d When he can\u2019t believe that the worst loss of a friend he\u2019s ever experienced can be reversed, Jesus gently places Thomas\u2019s hands in His side and blesses his (and our) coming-to-belief<\/em>. Jesus forgives our comedy (or tragedy) of errors as many times as we, like Thomas, open our hearts and say, My Lord and my God!<\/em><\/p>\n

Which brings me \u2013 finally! \u2013 to this blessed Feast commemorating the Dormition of the Mother of God and her bodily ascension into heaven. According to Tradition\u00a0 (and emphasized in the Eastern Church), Mary died \u2013 \u201cfell asleep in the Lord<\/a>\u201d \u2013 surrounded by \"dormitiondetail\"<\/a>the Apostles. Well, almost all. To be fair, it\u2019s possible that Thomas was out tending to the Church, preaching the Gospel and fulfilling his mission. Still\u2026the Eleven, each one charged with the same mission, were at the Holy Mother\u2019s bedside, keeping watch and then mourning her loss. Once again, I am Thomas<\/em>, as I recall those times I\u2019ve been busy about my own work \u2013 important as it often is \u2013 but too self-centered to take that call from a friend in need, honor a request (regardless of how trivial) from my husband, or visit a family member I\u2019ve not connected with in a while. I, too, have heard secondhand accounts of the troubles of someone I care about, about how others had been there, while I was\u2026Thomas.<\/p>\n

At Cana Mary told the servants<\/a> to \u201cdo whatever He [Jesus] tells you,\u201d and she followed her own advice. Like her Son, Mary accepts us in our imperfection, embraces us in love, and \"DORMITION_SLS__41357.1376957417.195.234\"<\/a>points us toward the One who can make us new<\/a><\/em>. When Thomas received word that Mary had died \u2013 that he\u2019d once again been too late \u2013 he begged the others to take him to the tomb to see her one last time. (Yes, Thomas and I, knowing better, doing what we must, forgetting to do what we ought.) When the Twelve arrived the tomb was empty but filled with a beautiful fragrance. In place of the Holy Mother\u2019s body were bunches of flowers. Once \"our-ladys-slipper-300x199[1]\"<\/a>again Thomas gets more than he bargains for, more that he deserves, witnessing the power and the faithfulness of God. The flowers are a sweet and beautiful remembrance from the Mother who, even in her passage from this life to the next, shows the way to her Son.\u00a0 The flowers say, \u201cI know \u2013 and I love you anyway.\u201d Though Thomas often gets in his own way as he seeks to follow his Master, he\u2019s shown time and again it\u2019s never too late.<\/p>\n

I am Thomas, both in my stubbornness and my desire to be so close to Christ I can touch Him. I am Thomas, who sometimes opens my mouth too much; who can be over-confident or paralyzed with fear. I am Thomas, with good intentions if not always right actions. Jesus loves me anyway, and invites me to place my wounds in His so He can heal them. Mary loves me, too, and she is my Mother when I miss the mark and when I come to my senses and run to Her. I am Thomas, who believes \u2013 and needs His grace to help my unbelief.<\/p>\n

I am Thomas<\/em>. Who are you<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Ann Koshute<\/strong> teaches theology for the Saint Joseph’s College Online Theology Program<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Christianity is a dynamic religion. That doesn\u2019t mean being a Christian requires acrobatic ability, rhetorical skills or flashy spiritual encounters. Christian dynamism comes from a willingness to actively seek and live a personal relationship with God, and with the Communion … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":48,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1357","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/48"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1357"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1357\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.sjcme.edu\/theology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}